Some pictures of my Sacred place. :-)
Have you ever tried to do nothing?
I am finding it very difficult. Today I went to my favorite place in nature to eat my lunch and enjoy the beautiful weather. Within minutes I was trying to think up workshops, classes or business ideas that could utilize that sacred place, my sanctuary, my favorite place on earth.
That wasn't a one-time occurrence. I do it constantly. I am always looking at everything, every situation, person, landscape, building, community, etc. with an eye for "How can I add this to my business?" or "Maybe this is what I am supposed to be doing.", "How can I turn it into a career that pays my bills?" I have a tough time just being in the moment. Enjoying what lights me up without wanting to share it on social media and then turn it into my next big business idea.
When I noticed this about myself I was, and still am, shocked and little chagrined. When did I develop this habit of wanting to share every single moment, idea, and experience on the internet ethers? When did I become completely invested in looking outside myself for approval? When did I stop listening to my own intuition, my own inner knowing? I have been running away from Accounting and my "old" self so hard, and for so long, I throw myself at whatever looks even remotely good to me, whatever might be the "thing" I can build a business on so I never have to return to Accounting again. This behavior started with Health Coaching, and to be clear; I loved the Health Coach Training and everything I learned from that program. I did not, however, love the actual coaching part. After I gave up on coaching, I turned to Reiki and decided I would be a Reiki Practitioner and create a business out of that. I soon found out that I didn't enjoy the way that people gave their power for healing their bodies over to me and the energy of Reiki. It gave me the heeby-jeebies. So I stopped doing that eventually and turned to Art. I LOVED pouring myself into my artwork and still do today. However, trying to turn it into a business or career that pays me money didn't work. I don't enjoy doing commissions(Art people pay me to make for them). I want to paint my visions, what I see, and what I feel, not other people's pets, loved ones, favorite icon, etc. I also tried creating and teaching art classes, which I mostly enjoyed. But there was still an element missing, so it felt forced and it drained me completely. I felt like I was pushing and straining to get people to sign up for my classes. It was unrewarding to put so much of myself out into the world and get nothing back. I was giving my power away to invisible people. Believing I couldn't be successful unless someone showed up and signed-up. It was exhausting and drove me into a bout of depression. After a few weeks of that, I decided that I need a break. No more striving, struggling or pushing. I would spend my time doing what lights me up, what makes me feel good and NOT thinking about the next big thing or opportunity that could save me from Accounting hell.
Well, even something that sounds wholly blissful and full of peace is harder than I thought. I have to continually remind myself to stop looking for the edge, next class, or business idea everywhere I turn and stay in the moment just enjoying what the world has to offer right then and there. I have no idea what lays ahead for me; I have no direction at all. I know that I am meant to be doing something more significant than anything I have done so far. But I have no idea what that is. So I ask my Soul to speak louder so that I can hear her. Break wide-open so that I can know her. Shine brighter so that I can see her. Step Up and Step out so that we can move forward together as one and accomplish what we came here to do.
Try doing nothing, and see what comes up for you. Spend 5 minutes being still and noticing everything in the current moment. When thoughts come up, notice them, let them go and refocus your attention on the now. When your five minutes are complete take notes and answer the following questions:
What did you notice about your surroundings?
Where did your thoughts go?
Was there a repeating pattern to your thoughts?
What does this repeating pattern tell you about yourself?
Sat Nam and Blessings to you,
Alicia Cubbage / Shakti Daya